Over the past few years that I've been with my bf, I've completely alienated all my friends, because we were always with his friends and because my friends weren't great fans of his. Now I'm miserable with him and want nothing more than to see one of my old friends again....it's completely my fault and I'm not looking to be blamed, since I know I did it. I just needed to write it out, in my own words and with my own fingers, and see it in front of my eyes. I ruined my life for a guy I don't love. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself.