I got married a few weeks ago to a guy I've been with for about 2 years now. He's really good to me. He loves me and I love him.
Before we were married, I cheated on him a couple of times with my ex (Guy #1), the one guy I've ever been insanely crazy in love with. The one who treated me like crap.
Before I met him (my husband) I was sort of semi-involved with a couple of guys online (Guy #2 and Guy #3). Both of them live far away.
Guy #2 told me before I got married that he would have married me, if that's what I wanted. He's crazy about me and I'm the only girl he's ever felt like this about. A bit too late for that. He lives on another continent anyway, so whatever.
Guy #3 told me just a few days ago that I am his high water mark for women now. He says he will always love me, and if he had thought for a moment that it would work, he would have done everything in his power to make it happen.
And Guy #1, the Love of My Life? He told me on the phone tonight that I am the biggest mistake he never made. I told him that if he'd put in the effort to keep us together that he put into tearing us apart, I'd have his last name right now, instead of someone else's.
Out of them all, Guy #1 is the one I would give just about anything to be with again. I think that all three of them are screwing with my head.
I mean, of course they want me now that I'm no longer available, right?
I love my husband. The what ifs will only drive me crazy for a little while, I hope.
6 comments:
You'll cheat on him again, and he'll find out someday. Seems to be your nature.
I thought someone might say something like this. I also thought it might hurt. Only it doesn't. It just feels true.
you only love guy #1 because you hate yourself.
learn to find you.
Why is it that guys that just don't care wind up with all the attention?
well, I feel sorry for your husband, hopefully he has extract curricular activities like you do. You don't seem like you should be married, because if Guy #1 acted right (for the moment) who knows how far you would go with him. That's not fair to your husband. How would you feel if you found your husband feeling the way you do about other women or worst. Put yourself in his shoes. Leave him alone if you're not happy with him or perfer someone else. Life's too short to not be doing who and what you want. Take care.
Oh dear, I'm sorry you are so unsettled. If understand correctly, you have never met Guys 2 & 3, right? If so, I think you should try to stop thinking about them -- I don't believe they could love you without having met you. Guy 1 is clearly not going to work out (no matter how much you want him to), so I would try to stop thinking about him as well.
If you love your husband, try to focus your energy on that relationship. That is what you HAVE. The others are just distractions.
But, please trust me, I understand distractions and I feel your distress. Good luck. Keep your wits about you, and choose a path that leads to the greatest happiness for all.
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