Monday, January 30, 2006
Several Female DC Bloggers Annoy Me
It seems all of you are very shallow and wrapped up in men, fashionand yourselves. How you are not good enough at this and that. SHUT UP! Who cares that you bought a "hawt" new dress or that you "totes" love something. Shut the fuck up! You are so pedestrian. I swear, there is more to life than comparing yourselves to more "beautiful" or "successful" people. Fucking grow a backbone. Be original. Fuck! No wonder you women are single. Get a fucking personality! With a guy you are unsure about...dump the fucker! Shit! You really must have serious low self-esteem issues. You claim you don't care what others thik of you but everything you do and say proves otherwise. I would never date any of you. Grow up ladies and stop being so petty. My God you are annoying.
Can't stop lying...
When I find myself in a conversation that seems to fade off a bit, I make up stories. I don't know where they come from or even why I do it. Most of the time, they are harmless. Every once and I while, I find myself covering my back on a lie by telling different people little parts of my lies so that I don't get caught.
For example, I was talking to a group of people at work who asked me what a friend did for a living, and although the answer started with the truth, it was slowly embellished.
Then, unexpectedly, people from work were going to meet my friend, so I had to tell them all that they shouldn't ask about the 'job' as it was a sore point now.
What makes me do this? I don't know where the stories come from. I don't want to lie to people, but once it comes out of my mouth, I don't know how to take it back. I even saw a counselor once, but all they told me was that I was not hurting anyone, so it wasn't something I should worry about.
Thoughts?
For example, I was talking to a group of people at work who asked me what a friend did for a living, and although the answer started with the truth, it was slowly embellished.
Then, unexpectedly, people from work were going to meet my friend, so I had to tell them all that they shouldn't ask about the 'job' as it was a sore point now.
What makes me do this? I don't know where the stories come from. I don't want to lie to people, but once it comes out of my mouth, I don't know how to take it back. I even saw a counselor once, but all they told me was that I was not hurting anyone, so it wasn't something I should worry about.
Thoughts?
My grandpa is really sick. He likely won't make it another six months. But I don't care - I am actually looking forward to his going - because of the way he treated me and my mother. I feel so conflicted - should you ever wish death on anyone, or is it okay since he's a bastard?
Friday, January 27, 2006
I caught herpes from a fellow blogger.
We had a fling; he left a present behind.
I wish I could tell people exactly why he's a dick. But I don't, because I don't want them to know that I have it too.
We had a fling; he left a present behind.
I wish I could tell people exactly why he's a dick. But I don't, because I don't want them to know that I have it too.
Oh, my god, I've been wanting to get this out for so long.
I HATE MY BOSS. I hate her. She's a heinous bitch. I hate this company, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hate my boss. I fantasize about going postal and shooting the whole place up.
But of course I won't, because they have good health insurance, and my son has cancer. If I leave, I won't be able to afford his treatments.
I HATE MY BOSS. I hate her. She's a heinous bitch. I hate this company, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hate my boss. I fantasize about going postal and shooting the whole place up.
But of course I won't, because they have good health insurance, and my son has cancer. If I leave, I won't be able to afford his treatments.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
MY ROOMMATE IS CRAZY
wow, this is a great idea. me and my roomie share a blog, so of course i can't bitch about her there. but i am beginning to hate her a little. okay a lot. she never does her dishes, she borrows all my clothes even tho she's about two sizes smaller than me and stretches them out, and her dirty laundry is all over the bathroom. i have asked and asked her to clean it up but she never does. and now her boyfriend who she jsut started dating is over all the time and all they do is make out in the living room. helloo!!!! you have your own bedroom. please go in there. i didn't sign up to live with two people.
what she doesn't know is that i put my 30 days in and found another apartment. i am moving in two weeks. hehe!
what she doesn't know is that i put my 30 days in and found another apartment. i am moving in two weeks. hehe!
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
I once dated someone who was abusive, both mentally and physically. We were together for three years. I knew from almost the first moment we dated that I should end it, but I very much feared that no one else would want me. His entire family was messed up - his dad had been married something like three times and had four kids with three different women, and his mom had been married several times as well. He had three kids from a previous relationship who lived across the country, who I had met several times and adored. One of the reasons I think I stayed with him was because I relished the idea of being the stable role model in these kids' lives.
Anyway, he cheated on me the entire three years we dated. Every single moment. And I always bought the excuse, always let him off the hook, even when I had indisputable physical evidence. I always let him turn it around to be my fault.
One day I actually caught him in the act, and that was when I ended it. The next week he begged forgiveness, and beat me when I wouldn't give it to him. The next week the same thing happened. This time, the beating was so bad that he perforated my eardrum (it healed; no hearing loss), choked me until I was unconscious, and punched the side of my head repeatedly for several minutes. I really thought I was going to die. This time I had to go to the hospital. The police were called and I got a restraining order.
I haven't seen or talked to him since then, for almost three years.
But I don't hate him. And I don't think of this event constantly. And I don't think of myself as having survived anything. I feel like I should have more feelings about this than I do. I feel like it should be a pivotal point in my life, something by which I define myself, and that I should have a feeling of hatred for him.
But I don't.
I rarely think about it. Even right after it happened, I rarely thought about it. I don't know if that means that I buried it and that I need to face it, or that I'm such a strong person that it didn't affect me like it might have others. I hear about these woman that survived similar beatings, and I rarely empathize with them or think that we have anything in common. I know what happened, but when I do remember it, it's without emotion; like I'm remembering a scene in a movie I saw.
Is that totally fucked up?
Anyway, he cheated on me the entire three years we dated. Every single moment. And I always bought the excuse, always let him off the hook, even when I had indisputable physical evidence. I always let him turn it around to be my fault.
One day I actually caught him in the act, and that was when I ended it. The next week he begged forgiveness, and beat me when I wouldn't give it to him. The next week the same thing happened. This time, the beating was so bad that he perforated my eardrum (it healed; no hearing loss), choked me until I was unconscious, and punched the side of my head repeatedly for several minutes. I really thought I was going to die. This time I had to go to the hospital. The police were called and I got a restraining order.
I haven't seen or talked to him since then, for almost three years.
But I don't hate him. And I don't think of this event constantly. And I don't think of myself as having survived anything. I feel like I should have more feelings about this than I do. I feel like it should be a pivotal point in my life, something by which I define myself, and that I should have a feeling of hatred for him.
But I don't.
I rarely think about it. Even right after it happened, I rarely thought about it. I don't know if that means that I buried it and that I need to face it, or that I'm such a strong person that it didn't affect me like it might have others. I hear about these woman that survived similar beatings, and I rarely empathize with them or think that we have anything in common. I know what happened, but when I do remember it, it's without emotion; like I'm remembering a scene in a movie I saw.
Is that totally fucked up?
What It's All About
What is BlogAnon?
BlogAnon is a space for people to vent, ask questions, or post about things they don't feel comfortable posting about on their own blog. This might be because they have friends or relatives that read the blog, because it reflects a different point of view than what they normally share, or because it just isn't the type of thing that they'd normally post.
What kind of things can I post?
Anything! There are no limits on topics. Your post can be humorous, heart-breakingly sad, or just a release of all the anger and frustration you have being holding in until this point. You can post a story, a request for advice, a quick thought...whatever you need to write.
How do I use BlogAnon?
To write and publish an anonymous post, simply visit NEW Blogger.com and sign in with the information above. Once signed in, click on the icon for "New Post." Once at the compose screen, create a title for your post (optional), then write your heart out. When you are done, click "Publish Post" at the bottom of the screen. When the post is finished publishing, click "Sign Out" in the upper right corner so someone else can post.
Are there any rules?
We ask that you respect your fellow anonymous bloggers and treat each post with seriousness (if appropriate) and respect, as this is a space for honesty and openness. While we hope to never have to resort to this, the Admin team reserves the right to delete any comments we feel are inappropriate or that may lead to flame wars. In addition, if signed into BlogAnon, please do not edit or in any way touch a post that is not yours. Finally, as a suggestion, if the original poster wants to respond to comments that have been left regarding their post, we recommend prefacing your comment body with "Original Poster" so it is known that you are the post author.
Where did this idea come from?
Several bloggers recently discussed how there were many posts they wanted desperately to write, but couldn't because of the people who knew about their blogs and therefore might see it. Issues ranged from coworkers to relatives to relationships to points of view that they didn't wish their readers to know about. During this discussion, a few of the bloggers said they were considering quitting their current blog and starting a new, completely different one under a different name, which they would then tell no one about. However, an idea was tossed out that eventually became this blog - why not start a public blog where people could go to write posts anonymously? That way the blogger could retain his or her current blog without going through all the hassle of creating a new one, and have an outlet for all those posts that were previously unwritable.
BlogAnon is a space for people to vent, ask questions, or post about things they don't feel comfortable posting about on their own blog. This might be because they have friends or relatives that read the blog, because it reflects a different point of view than what they normally share, or because it just isn't the type of thing that they'd normally post.
What kind of things can I post?
Anything! There are no limits on topics. Your post can be humorous, heart-breakingly sad, or just a release of all the anger and frustration you have being holding in until this point. You can post a story, a request for advice, a quick thought...whatever you need to write.
How do I use BlogAnon?
Username: bloganon_user@yahoo.com
Password: anonblog
Password: anonblog
To write and publish an anonymous post, simply visit NEW Blogger.com and sign in with the information above. Once signed in, click on the icon for "New Post." Once at the compose screen, create a title for your post (optional), then write your heart out. When you are done, click "Publish Post" at the bottom of the screen. When the post is finished publishing, click "Sign Out" in the upper right corner so someone else can post.
Are there any rules?
We ask that you respect your fellow anonymous bloggers and treat each post with seriousness (if appropriate) and respect, as this is a space for honesty and openness. While we hope to never have to resort to this, the Admin team reserves the right to delete any comments we feel are inappropriate or that may lead to flame wars. In addition, if signed into BlogAnon, please do not edit or in any way touch a post that is not yours. Finally, as a suggestion, if the original poster wants to respond to comments that have been left regarding their post, we recommend prefacing your comment body with "Original Poster" so it is known that you are the post author.
Where did this idea come from?
Several bloggers recently discussed how there were many posts they wanted desperately to write, but couldn't because of the people who knew about their blogs and therefore might see it. Issues ranged from coworkers to relatives to relationships to points of view that they didn't wish their readers to know about. During this discussion, a few of the bloggers said they were considering quitting their current blog and starting a new, completely different one under a different name, which they would then tell no one about. However, an idea was tossed out that eventually became this blog - why not start a public blog where people could go to write posts anonymously? That way the blogger could retain his or her current blog without going through all the hassle of creating a new one, and have an outlet for all those posts that were previously unwritable.
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