Married with two kids and completely confused

I am trying to get some perspective on things. I have two kids that I adore. One has some social issues - don't know exactly what yet (meeting with a doc soon). The other is healthy and normal (fingers crossed). Both are under 8 years of age. Been married for 10 years and same job for same amount of time. Challenging job (academia) but LOVE it. Here is the tough part - the passion in the marriage is GONE. Honestly, it has been for a LONG time. DH is loyal and hard working as I also try to be. He is goofy and creative and I am the serious intellect. Probably too deep a person for my own good. Regardless, things are just not fun and I just don't feel connected with my DH. Anyone been through the same and come through happily? How?

I am madly in love with my best friend. We're both men. I'm married.