BlogAnon

BlogAnon
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years. We have a wonderful, loving relationship and we are always honest with each other. I am concerned about one major issue that I cannot reslove and we don't seem to resolve as a gay couple. He is an exhibitionist and I love that part of him. He likes to show off his hot bod in digital clips, etc. The problem is that he also likes to get on the Internet with his webcam and perform for other guys. I have told him that I do not like this and in most cases he has complied. Once he learned of my objection, he has tried to stop, but I know that now and then the "addiction" gets the best of him. My rationale to objecting to this is that when you share yourself sexually with another person, it is the same as "cheating." I know as he does this he types messages to certain people and once was even on the phone with someone. With everything else almost perfect with our loving relationship, do I have reason to be concerned? Should I allow him this habit and forget it? BTW, I even tried it with him once, but it is just not my bag (so to speak). Any advice? Thanks.

I feel empty.

I feel empty inside. And that doesn't mean I am unhappy. Just bored, generally, with life. I get very good grades while putting little effort into it. I like reading, and do it quickly and efficiently, but I am not like my girlfriend who loves to read. I don't need to. I've never had a feeling of real exultation in my life, apart from my relationship with my fiancee. Otherwise, I've just always flowed along - not that I lead a dull life, but it just doesn't interest me in the least. I'm an MA student, and I like what I study, but I could do something else and not feel that bad about it, either. Life is synonimous with ennui for me - studies, work, leisure... I can't seem to feel excited about anything, or eager to do anything either. It's like being in an isolation cell within my own body. I'm sorry if I don't express the feeling well, but it is difficult to do. And I'm not depressed about it either - I don't care enough about life to feel bad about it, and I would never think of suicide, because it's just not worth the trouble.

I really like you......

I really like you. I don't know what has come over me. I am doing things differently, I am viewing things differently. For so long I have been just sitting by patiently waiting for someone like you to come into my life. And here you are..I am going to do everything to make sure this continues to go in the right direction. I just want to be there for you and show you that there are good women left in this world. So, I will relax, keep having a good time and wake up everyday refreshed... :-)

Hey! I'm in a GREAT relationship. 1.5 years now and so far so good. Who says gay men can't hold a stable relationship?! Yesterday you and I walked the dog and enjoyed the weather in the park. Never been happier!

a few things

D.

You don't realize this but I've fallen in love with you because you remind me of my ex-boyfriend. And because you guys are friends, we would stand no chance of even going out on a date. Horribly funny, isn't it?

The thing is, I don't really mind, because I like being friends with you and I don't particularly feel the need to turn this situation into a black hole of depression.

-H.

I miss you

R, you told me not to contact you -- that it would be too hard. I have respected that completely even though I have drafted countless unsent emails and think of you every single day. In the last few weeks I've been on three dates with different guys and none of them have come close. I tried to open myself up to new people, new experiences, not to dwell. But I didn't get to the second date. Why? There was no zip. With you, there was zip from second one. Do you miss me? Are you still out there, are you okay? I hope you are happy, healthy, and growing on your own path. I still love you.

I generally forget that I'm a lesbian. Not until I'm reminded, do I realize I am different from other people/couples/families.

I'm damn glad I feel that way.